We hit 'em hard.
Monday, July 11, 2005Press Conference
I suppose you have all heard the results of the Comic Competition held by RIPB. As usual, those fuckers in black boots (excluding our dear members Timo and Lang) have shown themselves to be of cheap grade and low style. How could they not select our PINEAPPLE MAN comic to win! After all we were the only comic strip there - so it's only right that we should be granted a walkover. Nevertheless those bastards took the easy way out and just cancelled the competition. It just shows how pathetic these people can come to when it all boils down to recognising talent. Never mind - all PCB fans will be treated to the comic someday when I find time to upload it and if Allah (Chew) does find the time as well as the brain cells (to remember) to pass me the comic. Anyway here are some reactions at press time: "AIYA!" - by Timo, upon hearing the horrible news. "What the fuck..!" - YJ (that's me) And then ZY and Siew Yi Liang (SYL) decided to pay a visit to the prize winner. "You call that a prize-winner? Looks like shit!" - ZY aka Allah Chew "I should have just taken part la! Get free voucher!" - SYL Sigh.. RIPB. Anyway ZY did get two vouchers sponsored by the ever-so-kind David Lu, once our best friend from the dining hall. At first ZY found it pointless to take two, until I told him the discount vouchers could stack since it wasn't stated on the vouchers otherwise. Damn I should have went along and taken another so he could get some free comics (40% x 3 = 120%). Or as it is 120% discount, maybe the shop retailers would pay us 20% the price of the comic if we presented all the vouchers to him at the same time. Well I'll leave that up to Acraven (aka ZY). Once again, sorry for not being able to upload the marvellous comic now. I will find time to do so some other day when I have less shit in school to bother about. - Moving on, or rather taking a step back, let's go to Friday. Some questions to ponder. Why didn't Zhang Kahn need to take off his pants when he needed to shit? Cos there was a hole in his pants!! (duh) - we all saw it. - Press conference with Puay Hock. "Zheng Lei!" Zheng Lei looks up. “你拿着那个东西照着自己来干嘛？你知道那个是给有乳癌的人来照吗?!" He kept whatever device that he was holding. Good old Puay Hock. And while all this was going on Huang Lu was holding hands with Kezhong. (ask MQ, Head of Intelligence if you don't believe me) - Next up, we return to the wonderful day of.. Monday! Instead of Monday blues, it seemed more like Monday jokes when we had this press conference with Grace Chong doing some Chemistry demo. "In Singapore, you would call this oven-baked flour.." - with emphasis on the "flour". Carl started giggling in a silly manner, and I didn't quite get it. "It's OVEN-baked." repeated Grace Chong. Blah blah blah blah the class kept talking. "It's OVEN-baked." she repeated. Somehow the class kept looking at the tin container. "Yes so we are using OVEN-baked flour," she said again for the umpteenth time - and although she obviously was describing how the experiment was conducted in between saying "oven-baked flour", many only caught this part. "Yes, ma'am, I think we know. OVEN-BAKED FLOUR." (exasperated) I got a stare from the P Man. - SOPHIE SENDS SMS TO MING KIAT! Well, well, isn't this an interesting world. Some fencer from RGS seems to be playing musical boys with certain.. people from 4J. Apparently she sent "Hi dear.. how's school?" to the afore-mentioned classmate from 4J. To be precise, Sophie sent a message to Ming Kiat! The time was 1:18PM, and if you really wish to know, Sophie's alleged handphone number is 91388987 and her alleged home number is 62812811. As far as Ming Kiat is concerned, Sophie seems to be going crazy over him. Ming Kiat is quoted as saying, "I really don't see why Sophie liked Barney in the first place. I'm so much hotter than him anyway." When mentioned that Sophie liked Tim Chow, Ming Kiat retaliated with a violent string of vulgar words, which roughly meant, "Fuck off la. You think that can be true meh? Tim Chow so ugly.. I think my dog also more handsome than him ah." We wish Ming Kiat and Sophie good luck for the future. - Finally, right at the end, you can see the very best that has specially been saved for this last.. interesting piece of news. After "A Tale of Two Elements", there was much feedback about not knowing what the hell the story was about. Timothy, however, has other ideas, "I think your story has a dastardly twist to it." Well. Very. The main character has spoken! Nevertheless I've been snooping around to see class 4B's tabloid. All done by publisher, editor and photographer, a Mr. Clifton Tay from the afore-mentioned class. Very talented indeed. Clifton Tay does publish a great newspaper, of which he names it "Only The Truth". Actually, it's more of a newstable than a newspaper - for it's on table not on paper. Doesn't matter, really. The content you will see below are extracts from the newstable. "Timo and a short, dark judoka from RGS" (hmm I wonder who) The table reads, "Lois left Pek for Timo." (readers were saying no la no..) And according to "Only The Truth", Lois was quoted as saying (about Pek), "He just wasn't the one." Of course she couldn't quite mean the same thing about Timothy, could she? Now Timothy comes in with his cunning scheme. He said, "A girl is most vulnerable after a break-up." - bringing to attention, well, what might he be thinking! He said that not only to Mr. Tay, but to me as well. Therefore I do not have any doubt in my mind that "Only The Truth" is really nothing but the truth. In any case I'll leave you to ponder about the cunning rivalry between Pek and Timo - and the whatever "short, dark judoka" involved. Let's hope that the next issue in 4B will be written soon, for I am looking forward to it. By the way if any of you knows how to suscribe to that newstable, I will be the first one to order. I am their greatest fan. Till then, it's best you stay here and learn only the.. the.. t.. ruth. posted by YJ # 8:45 pm
 
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