PCB Syndicate

We hit 'em hard.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Part 2 of trip to China

As you can probably tell, the previous post on the trip to China was unfinished. That was due to the fatigue, and also the cold that had crept into my fingers due to the less than warm heating provided by the air conditioner.

Now I'm back in Singapore, and the rashes have almost disappeared. The skin peeling due to dryness is also better. Truly, I must be allergic to China or whatever it has to offer.





I was speaking of the "Bao Jian" shop. So anyway we went in and soaked our feet in some sludge, which had precipitated when some packet of powder was poured into some water. It was brown and all, much like Jello. So anyway as we were soaking our feet a promoter came in and described all the products the shop sold. It sold burns cream, the packet of mud-forming powder, some medicated plaster and cordyceps.

So he began doing the usual - describing the miraculous properties of each of his products. The one that attracted the most attention was the burns cream. He boasted that when applied to a burn which hadn't swelled yet, the area would not swell and would heal much faster.

To demostrate his point, he brought in a heated metal chain. Heated meaning having a jet of flame directed at it till it was red hot at the centre. The jet of flame originated from a burner(thus termed due to a lack of a better term" carried on a cart, as was the chain. As they brought it into the room where we were idyllically soaking our feet, I could heard the "voooo" sound made as the jet of gas streaming out. It came as quite a shock to me, as I was expecting something less extreme, plus I could feel the heat emanating from the flame as it passed by my seat.

I had seen such a display before, during a trip to another part of China; they were selling a burns cream too, whether it was the same brand I cannot remember. However, this time I had front row seats, right in front of the guy who was going to burn his own hand just to cinch the deal. Previously, the act was done in front of something resembling a lecture theatre, and I was seated way back, far enough the dismiss the act as a sham due to lack of observed details. This time, with the person barely a body length away from me, I could detect no false trickery, and felt quite sorry for him. To prove that the chain was indeed going to cause a burn, he took a piece of paper and stuck it towards the red hot area of the chain, and it caught fire.

He didn't touch the red hot area, which was understandable as his flesh would probably have melted and stuck there. He didn't grab the chain, but scraped the lower part of his palm against an area close to the red hot area.

Ouch! He looked to be pain, and probably was. After his stunt, a attendant nearby lathered a generous amount of "Bao Ling" burns cream on the affected area. The thing is, he used his right hand. Assuming he was right handed, that is not very clever, unless of course it did not really hurt. After 15 minutes, he showed us the affected area, and it was blackened, but not swollen.

Thus he proved his point. However, seeing as how he used his right hand, I had a few doubts even though my eye did not observe any falsehood. He did not touch the red hot area, which was understandable, but since it was a metal chain, could the heat not have conducted that well to the other part of the chain which he touched, resulting in a lower temperature? Also, the affected area of his palm was blackened. Could the chain have been covered with a layer of soot or other things such that the area he touched would have not burnt him?

Even as I list my doubts, I have to admit that it was pretty convincing then and now. I have no idea whether it was for real or not.

After his stunt, it was time to remove my feet from the jello that it was soaking in and let some workers massage my feet. The massager who was going to massage my feet was a young lady, and she kept sighing for some reason. I suspect that they earned their bread based on commission and she wasn't all too pleased that she was going to massage the foot of a person who would probably buy nothing and earn her nothing. Anyway I had already decided I would decline the offer, as I felt the whole thing was a con and I didn't want to be part of it. So I told her there was no need and proceeded to wait outside.

I went to the toilet and saw Mr Stuntman in it. I wonder if he was running his hand under the ice cold tap water to soothe the pain. Anyway, as I waited outside the room, another "vrooo" sound preceded what was another "fire-dealing" cart - another batch of tourists had arrived and they would be treated to the "spectacle" as well.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Chinaaargh

China... Ah. Land of the conmen. Mayhaps con is too strong a word, but it will do.



I've been here for 5 days, and so far I ain't seen nothing worth my bloody time. Sure, there are many mountains, some of them snow-capped, and plenty of rivers, but I can see all these on the discovery channel. It just ain't worth it braving the cold just to see some hills and water.



It's fucking frigid here, though the worst should be over since the trip to Shangri-la is over and that's the highest point (literally and otherwise). For those who don't know, at higher altitudes it's supposed to get colder.



The road so far...



The first thing you notice when you step into Kun Ming is...

Well actually bloody nothing. When you step out into the airport from the plane, nothing strikes you. Ok maybe there are faces with more chinese features. No doubt, the airport is not as grandiose as Changi, but it does its job.

The second thing you notice, as you step out of the airport. The gratuitous use of the honks by chinese drivers. It simply just grabs your attention, and sure as hell not in a pleasant way. It's as if there was a nipple on every car's steering wheel, and the deranged drivers couldn't wait to press it. Maybe honking gives them a sense of pleasure or superiority? Could it be the irritating assault on one's hearing reminds them of a certain bedroom sound? Whatever the hell the case is, the problem exists in Beijing and Shanghai, and I have no doubt in most of China.


Then I stepped into the toilet. My nose was running (since the morning, probably a natural reflex to warn me against coming since I've been to China around 3 times, none of it I liked), from whatever I am not sure, and it was kinda blocked.



But the smell of the toilet got past whatever was blocking my nose, and I could smell the usual dried piss on the ground smell. Which was expected, since even in Singapore such things are common. Then you turn on the tap to wash your hands, which I have observed to be uncommon behaviour for people here. The water is ice-cold. Maybe that's the reason people don't wash their hands after handling their penises? Well I don't think it's a very good reason.



So after finding the local tour guide, me, my brother and mother got into a coach. A small one, probably fits 30? Our tour group had 14 people including us. On the bus, there were 7. So where were the rest?

Much to my displeasure, I realised that the people were arriving from Xiamen since they had gone to visit their relatives. Their flight was due to arrive at 1.30 pm, and I was in the bus at around 12.30 pm. What an abso-fucking-lutely brilliant way to start a tour - by waiting for other people from your tour group for an hour. As you can tell, I'm not exactly a patient man.



There was a wee bit of amusement since 2 of the people with us on the bus had lost their luggage as they had checked in at the wrong counter due to miscommunication between them and the Singaporean who had overseen the checking in and distributed the tickets.



I felt ripped off, since waiting in a bus for others for an hour does not exactly fit the idea of fun to me. Retarded motherflippers at the tour agency who thought it would be ok to keep some of the group waiting, well they were wrong. Well they sure as hell ain't getting business from me in the future.



After the others arrived, we set off - meaning a coach ride that lasted a few hours. Which I hadn't planned for. An oversight on my part, and a cunning move that those mofos at the tour agency left out. Whoresons. As a result, I didn't bring anything along to entertain myself. No violent books, musik or anything. Which meant having to stare outside at the scenery. Granted, there were high mountains that dwarf Bukit Timah Hill and verdant farmlands full of green crops that look like the cow grass you find everywhere in Singapore. Also, there were rivers that aren't like those in Singapore.

However, I've seen those before, or at least I think so. So it was entertaining. For like 30 minutes. Also, there was the tour guide rabbling. It was interesting sometimes, as she talked about the ethnic tribes around Yunnan, and their practices. Most times it was not. She talked about how "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" kinda crap. Basically we were not supposed to call the people Xiao Jie, cause that was derogatory and was used to refer to harlots. Supposed to call the females Ah Si Ma and guys Ah Hei Ge.

I didn't really give a hoot about it, since I figured as long as the person is close enough to you, you don't need to address them. Just cut straight to the chase and tell them what you want. Saves the trouble of memorising terms, and also eradicating your self-felt sense of ridicule at having to call people unfamiliar terms. She also warned of altitude sickness, the extra UV rays due to the closer proximity to the sun, and the dryness of the air due to the thinner air. I didn't pay much notice to the last, but as I'm on medication the effect is compounded, and the result is not a pretty sight. My skin is scaly now, and goodness is it disgusting.

After she stopped yakking, I tried to sleep, and when that failed, I mused. Mused on how the fuck did I get there in the first place, and vowing never to make the same mistake.




FUCK IT. I'm allergic to china. Just took a shower and there are rashes and it fucking itches. Like some STD, it's disgusting. Had it 3 days ago but it didn't itch this much. Thought it was due to the dryness, but now I'm not so sure. It's scaly and full of bumps. What I do know is that I'm in China and this happened. Now I'm pissed. This is day 5 by the way.

So back to day 1.

After a torturous journey, we arrived at the place where we had lunch. Surprisingly, lunch was decent. Tasted like normal food, with steamed egg, fish, roasted duck and sweet and sour pork. There was also booze, which tasted normal. So no complaints there. For the moment.

With lunch over, we travelled to some temple in Kunming. Another great coach ride. I observed that the buildings in China look the same everywhere. Bejing, Shanghai, and Kunming. Buildings look pretty much the same to me. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's their architects or city planners.

Stepping out of the bus and walking along the streets to the temple, my olfactory senses picked up something familiar.

The fucking china stink. In Shanghai and Beijing, I had detected this offensive odour. I have never really figured what emits it, and neither am I very curious about it. It is just a idiosyncracy of China to be dealt with. My mother said that it emits from people who don't bathe, due to the winter and sarcity of water. That's not a good enough reason for me. If this is true, they need to be purged. As for myself, I think it's the streets themselves, but it doesn't matter. A stink is a stink and if possible it should always be avoided.

Back to the temple. Well I'm not a buddhist so I can't judge. One thing I learnt from the trip there was the difference between luo han, fou and pu sha. Basically just different ranks of immortality or something to that extent.

Fou > pu sha > luo han

Ooo but the temple stank too. Guess it's a local thing. Think the China tourists and locals spit inside it too.

After the temple trip was another marvellous coach ride to a place where they sold pu-er and "shan qi" (literally translated 37 but it's tian qi the chinese herb) tea leaves among other elixir ingredients. According to them anyway.

The way I see it, it's con shop number 1, out of many. The shop is set up by the Yunnan University of Agriculture, so it was supposed to be "authentic" and not overpriced. Maybe not set up by the Uni but just endorsed, but who the fuck cares as far as I can tell they're just part of the con.

They basically prey on tourists, providing a place to shelter from the cold, and letting them sample the different teas one by one, explaining the miraculous effects of each as we sample each cup of tea. Pu-er tea leaves from Yunnan is supposed to be better cause they are grow at high altitudes or something along that line, and their Pu-er leaves are harvested from trees rather than shrubs unlike other plantations. Pu-er is supposed to be kind to the stomach, and be good for many other damn reasons. The shan qi tea is supposed to be good for anti swelling properties and altitude sickness. I could have messed up the magikal properties of the teas, but can anyone blame me after the plethora of buffs they attritube to like 5 kinds of teas? If I didn't know any better, I'll say chewing on tea leaves every day grants immortality after their little educational talk. Oh wait, maybe it does? They are good, these promotors. I guess they have to be, since China is filled with so many people and the competition is intense.

After that's done, they pounce. Did you know that Pu-er tea leaves make better tea as it ages? As long as it doesn't spoil, according to them anyway. Well neither did I, nor do I care. There were 3 or more grades of Pu-er tea leaves that were sold. One was kept for one year, another for 2 or 3 and the last kept by 9 years or more.

The 1 year one did taste different from the rest, had a grass kind of taste to it, but the 2 or 3 year one and the 9 year ones tasted like the Pu-er you get served in Singapore. This did nothing to explain its price, which was like 200 yuan for a 2-3 year tea "biscuit", which in my opinion is BS. I'll take my english tea over that any day. My family didn't buy any, but others in our tour group fell for it. It's ok to buy one or two I guess, but the problem is, once you start showing interest, the promotors don't let up. They keep offering you better deals just to increase your purchase, and weak-willed or toonice people just fold under the intense pressure. Say you want to buy a single Pu-er tea "biscuit". The promoter aka conman/woman then proceeds to tell you you that buying 3 will grant you a free Pu-er tea biscuit.

It will probably appear to be a very lucrative offer. Say you relent. You'd think the promoter would be satisfied. But NooooOOo, she just keeps going. What about changing that free Pu-er biscuit to a more expensive one? Or maybe to the shan qi tea leaves? You just have to top up the difference. And on it goes, till even the strongest-willed buckle. Some guy in my tour group bought over 700 yuan of tea leaves, thanks to the "persuasion" of the promoters.

After conshop 1, another marvelous ride on the coach to dinner. It was pretty much more or less the same food as lunch. After dinner they dropped us off at a local shopping area, as the 2 people who lost their luggage had to go get clothes lest they freeze to death.

My family didn't have much to shop for, except for some sunblock. So we had extra time, since the tour guide left us to shop ourselves and meet at a arranged location at 10.15 p.m. So after wasting time at Mac's we went back to the trusty coach and headed for our hotel.

Boy was the road back an eye-opener. Some of the roads were actually dirt roads, and since the coach was small, its suspension system was not really all there. Up and down we went, like some bumper car ride. Except it wasn't all that enjoyable. And some parts weren't lit at all.

The hotel was not bad, but it was a 5 star hotel so no surprise. I caught certain parts of Mr and Mrs Smith on TV, though the show was quite lame it was a little entertaining.

Day 2

Woke up in the morning to go to some Peacock Park. Which was totally fucking stupid cause it was so fucking early and it was damn bloody cold, and all that trouble just to catch some bloody peacocks, which is something you can see at Siloso beach. And the peacocks were all caged up, had quite a few of them. Apparantly they were caged up cause some tourists (mainland ones according to our tour guide) plucked their feathers, and some peacocks became roadkill after wandering out of the park. Cocks with peabrains eh.

I didn't realise it at first, but beside the Peacock Park was a large herb hall, which was highly "coincidental" seeing that the trip the the Peacock Park was a "gift" from the tour agency as we were unable to obtain tickets to some performance by the minority tribes in Yunnan, as it was booked by the government. That suited me just fine, cause seeing people dance to musik I detest is really not my cup of tea.

Of course, with the tour guide on the previous day extolling the virtues of some locally procured herbs, like shan qi, who could resist? According to her shan qi when uncooked and eaten in powder form can prevent high chlorestol. And when cooked it helps to "bu xue" or improve blood flow or something like that. Whatever. So everyone bought something, and it wasn't cheap. The tian qi in Singapore is cheaper, but according to the worker there it doesn't have the uncooked properties, meaning it doesn't have high chlorestol prevention effect.

So after the Peacock Park or herb hall visit, we went for lunch. It was mostly Same shit, different day. I think it was fine though. Then we went to another Yunnan University endorsed or whatever "Bao Jian" (health mantainence) shop. According to our tour guide, it offered free foot massages, and was planned due to the ardous coach journey we had ahead to Dali. She told us not to worry about the foot masseues not letting go of our foots unless we buy something, which was what some other joints did. It was highly amusing.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Happy Chewren's Day!

Well everyone happy chewren's day! May we celebrate this joyous occasion yearly and forever be YOUNG AND INNOCENT.

Thanks for the snazzy wallet and the works of arts! Not forgetting the well-wishers! And to YJ full marks for your oral tomorrow! And to everyone full marks for everything!

Oui!

P.S THE MAHONE HOLD IS VERY NICEe!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

PWN

LOCK AND LOAD, GET INTO BATTLE MOOD
WE'RE HUNGRY LIONS, CTS ARE OUR FOOD
WITH THE MERCILESS VIOLENCE OF PCB
WE CONFIRM BAO JIA THIS CT!

RAWRR!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

PCB Secures Sporting Victories at Sentosa

Hello all!

PCB members, Goon , Dom, Chew, Jingzhou and Mq , took to the sunny island of Sentosa today for some sporting action.

First up was a team of 5 guys, aged 17. Having warmed up adequately after a friendly match of basketball among themsleves, team PCB was all primed to take on the Rest.

The game started with a sluggish pace, with each team unable to produce enough quality in the final delivery. The Rest's keeper was seemingly unbeatable, denying Team PCB of many a early goal. The break came for Team PCB when Mq broke down the flanks to produce a low ball across the goal mouth. The unpredictable bounce of the ball, owing to the uneven surface of the beach, allowed the pass to skip pass the Rest. Commander Chew, had made a striker's run down to the far post, and finished the play off with an instinctive tap-in with the keeper stranded. 1-0

The deadlock was finally broken, forcing the Rest to attack deeper, leaving their defense vulnerable. With superior physical prowess and superlative passing, Team PCB punished the Rest with fast breaks and counterattacks. All PCB members had their names on the scoreboard as PCB stomped to a 7-0 victory, with Goon scoring the last goal with exquisite precision. The Rest's keeper could all but stare helplessly as the ball sailed past him. To quote Goon, " I just softly kick only, " .

After such an overwhelming victory, Team PCB was euphoric. The rain could hardly dampen Team PCB's high spirits as they were resting. Then, They came. A group of 5 guys, 3 malays and 2 chinese, whom I shall refer to as ... ... the Rest2. The Rest2 were playing soccer in close vicinity to us, infringing upon our territory. It was a direct provocation, and one that Team PCB cannot take lying down. It's on.

As the champions stood up, representative Mq went on to negotiate for a game. Surprisingly, the Rest2 agreed, much to the delectation of Team PCB.
The game started. Like the first game, this game started slow, filled with dissipation of chances by both sides. However,Lady Luck was on Team PCB's side, as she always has been. Alone on the right flank with little support, Dom took a wild shot. It seemed doomed for the sidelines. Miraculously, the ball struck the Rest2's last man, who deflected the ball into the goal. 1-0 to Team PCB.

Another own goal by the Rest2 and a brilliant tap in by Commander Chew quickly brought Team PCB 3-0 up. Victory seemed like an ineluctable destiny. For a moment, Team PCB was questioning the initial display of skill in the provocation by the Rest2. Then, it started. The Rest2 stepped up their game, and quick passing followed by clinical finishing closed the lead down to all but zilch. During the Rest2's revival, Goon was struck with an injury. A reckless tackle by a member of the Rest2 resulted in Goon spraining his ankle. It was explicit to all that he was going for the legs. The Rest2 were not without losses of course, in an attempt to win the ball, Mq unintentionally kicked an opposing player with much velocity in the shin.
It seemed the game was getting more physical.

As the game went on to and fro, both teams were scoring and conceding. Finally as Team PCB scored the last goal, the Rest2 gave up and called for a break. We had won 5-4.
It was a Pyrrhic Victory however, for Goon's ankle was very swollen.

After taking a well deserved break and replenished our body fluids with 100plus from 7-11, we took the on next bunch of challengers, the Rest3.
In this challenge, Team PCB was split up for they had only 3 at one point of the game. Hence, after random selection, Commander Chew had to go over. Team PCB was dismayed, our influential figure is now against us. However, we held on to our faiths, and eventually emerged victorious with a score of 7-4. It must be noted that Commander Chew had a big part to play in the 4 points that the Rest3 scored.

And that is all for today's sporting events at the beach.
A 3 for 3 result has indeed been heartening.

I look forward to more sporting events by PCB in the future.

We hit'em hard!

The Humblers

Quest for Pleasure
We asked for volunteers for this hedonistic undertaking, and few were those who answered the call. But a quest is a quest, and even if our party was pretty paltry, what matters most is quality and not quantity. And in that aspect we could not complain, for Odin is kind and those who did answer the call were of staunch quality.

Journal Log
Today was a stupendous day. It started off on a pretty low note, but ended on a crescendo, quite literally.

When I woke up this morning, the sun was wimpled by low, creeping clouds. I was tired and thought that naught would come out of our planned expedition to Sentosa. I called Goon and he didn't answer. My doubts about the trip were growing, but I already gave my word so I had to be there. I was worried that it would be called off, but my query to associate Chan was replied with a curious "It's great weather on the train, is it raining over at your side?" Me of little faith, was doubtful. I prepared myself and as luck would have it, I caught the bus 190 just in time. And as I got on I smsed Goon who replied that he was just walking to his bus stop. Terrific timing. A superb start to a spiffy day, though I doubt I realised it at that moment.

Manquan reached the harborfront MRT first, with JZ second, then Goon and me followed by Dom. We met Seetoh at the MRT station, as he was meeting some guy there for a handphone deal. Dom arrived as we were feeding ourselves at the harbourfront hawker centre. None of us brought a volleyball, with JZ and Dom flummoxed about who was supposed to bring it. That wasn't promising, because then our arsenal only consisted of:

1 basketball, brought by associate Chan.

Feeding

I had 1 plain and 1 egg prata. The fare was nothing to write home about, but I was hungry and as they say hunger is the best seasoning. But my palate wasn't entirely satisfied so I went further and fed on Kaya Toast. Then I was full, too full in fact and feeling sluggish. I wished I had stayed in bed, and jokingly suggested going home to sleep, but the norns beneath Yggdrasil had evidently decided otherwise.

Sublime Time

After feeding, we bought our tickets and got to our destination. Siloso beach. It was pretty empty, probably as it was early - 10 plus. We went to the item shop near the beach shack to add to our arsenal, unfortunately the equipment was too low level for us, and the high level gear was out of stock. Dismayed but undaunted, we decided to start working with our most familiar and only available tool - the basketball. We got to the pavilion nearest to the court, put down the stuff and started.

We played among ourselves, 2 v 3 as nobody came along just yet. We saw some potential challengers who were playing around with a soccer ball, but we were quite into our game, and so we bidded our time. We played, and the rain fell steadily. I think that was preferable to a scorching sun, and by then my body was waking up and I was beginning to appreciate the day. After a few fun games, we decided to get out of the rain as it was getting heavier, and the treacherous combination of sand and rainwater on the basketball court was getting too slippery even for SEALs.

We were warmed up, and ready for some shieldwall action. The previous raiding party we spotted were still around, so we issued a challenge to them. And they unfortunately for them, they were too polite to decline.

The Slaughter
Rules - Goalkeeper, 5 on 5
I volunteered to be the custodian of our might troop, and pretty soon got bored of the inaction at our side. A few shots of ours were saved by demented dives by the daring keeper, and I was displeased that one man should stop our forays. I decided to strike deep, and formed the spearhead of our incursion into their shieldwall. Goon took over the role of custodian. (meaning i tried to be sneaky and went offside to strike, but hey, it's beach soccer this ain't no EPL so why not?) Within a few minutes, we broke through, and first blood was drawn. A beautiful stroke that cleaved through their defenders appeared in front of me, and instincts took over as I hammered in the blow at the last second.

1-0, to us.

Then Goon went up, and within another few minutes, 2-0 to us. We were all amused at this Super-Sub phenomena, and so we rotated our keeper in the hopes of keeping 1 man fresh to deliver the mortal blow over and over again. And to our credit, it worked. Everyone on our team scored.

We struck again and again, but the enemy put up a valiant struggle, till at last our efforts exhausted us, and they took the chance to counter attack. They were desparate men, and cornered men are dangerous. Fortunately for us, our shieldwall held, held strong it did, and we suffered no casualties. There were a few close shaves, like when a bolt hit the outside of our shields(long range shot hit outside post), but Lady Luck was on our side, and everyone escaped unscathed.

I can't remember many of the brilliant goals, so I have to leave it up to my squad to re-enact the scenes for all of you. Needless to say, it was an exceptional display of teamwork, and it would not have been possible with the absence of of any of us. Everybody did their part, and the results reflect that well. The weather conditions were blessed indeed, thank Thor, for the winds and rain cooled our battle hardened muscles and the slaughter could thus continue at an increased rate.

Final score - 7-0. Goon ended it with a blistering blast from a distance away, and the enemy keeper was hapless as he watched the bullet burn past him.

After the resounding victory, we rested, for even though the mightiest cannot fight beyond his strength. The bloodlust was still upon us, and we were eager for more annihilation, but no lambs come willingly to the slaughter. After the rest, the sun came out, as if the very heavens were smiling upon our victory, and I whipped out my notes and tried to absorb what I could, while the rest went went to shoot hoops. After they tired of it, we rested again. Then they came...

The Pyrrhic Victory
Mq said they looked pro. I scoffed. Looked. Only that. And fortunately I was right.
Rules - Last Man, 5 on 5
They were around our age, similar to the previous team, but there 4 malays, who have a natural affinity with soccer. Thankfully, our affinity with soccer was stronger. For the first 15 minutes (may be inaccurate as we don't keep time when we cut our enemies down), there was a dry spell. No blood was shed, but we persevered. Then Dom broke through. He hammered a shot towards the enemy's last man, and he deflected it in towards his own goal. Own goal, as the ball was going out, but in his haste the enemy misjudged and gave us the advantage. However, the battle could still swing either way, so we kept at it.

And fortune favours the bold, and we were rewarded. A second goal by us was scored, and then I knew the battle was ours. Knew and rejoiced in it. And then the norns at Yggdrasil mocked us. Goon was injured by a reckless tackle, which left him no choice but to rest his ankle. One of our squad injured! We were dismayed, but held fast. The enemy, to their credit, scored a few goals. However, this was due in part to the weather no longer being as favourable as that in the previous battle - it was slightly humid with the sun slightly out and a slight drizzle falling, and this took a toll on our tired bodies. We scored as many as them, and this was when the numerical odds were against us. However, good ol' Chan was so kind as to take one of them out of the game with a perfectly legal shin hit, and the numbers were even once again.

And then we scored and so did they and I lost count of the goals, but needless to say we won. Dom made them concede a few more own goals, and I tapped in some and MQ and JZ slugged a few through them too. The last goal was ours, and both sides were tired and we decided to end it. However, victory had come at a high price. Goon's ankle was awkward, and we don' tknow whether it will turn out to the a bad sprain. It didn't hurt then, but it could flare up later. So we rested, and by then it was 12 plus or 1. We were dehydrated, and went to get drinks from 7-11.

When we got back, there were new challengers. This time for basketball. Needless to say, Goon showed them. I got switched to their team as they were lacking a man, and tried my best, but alas my best was not good enough and the outsiders team plus me lost, though at least there was decent resistance.

After that we washed up. I saw the math teacher Mr Benjamin Tan at the beach toilet. Well he's a nice guy so I greeted him.

Then we went to the harbourfront hawker centre and feeded again. YJ joined us there. He had something on in the morning, so couldn't partake in the quest. The duck rice was not bad, $2.50, pretty reasonable.

After we fed we went to walk around in Vivocity. Nothing much to be said about that, and after that we all went home.

Which brings me to another part of the journal.

The Long Trek Home
Goon and I went home via the 190, and along the way Goon was lamenting that he hated 190. Why, I enquired. Cause he's been taking it too long, he answered. Hehe. Well I couldn't argue against that.

My mood was exuberant as I went home, because never have I gone to the beach and found so many challengers in a day. Challengers we vanquished, which was probably the main reason I was so pleased.

So we boarded the 190 to go home. A bendy one. The middle part stank like a swamp(though I've never been to one), and noise greeted us when we moved to the back. And I mean noise. Well some fucktards might call it techno, but to me it IS and will always be noise. So me and Goon were annoyed. We identified the source, and we realised that the fucko was sitting with his mother. Now I was disturbed. The sorry excuse for musik was very loud, and the fucko was with his mum, and they were having a conversation as if the clangor was nothing out of the ordinary. Which it probably was, but for the usual commuter I don't think it is anything pleasant, and the fucko's mum didn't even have the decency to tell his son to can it. They definitely were not deaf, as they were having an audible conversation, so it confounds me as to why they could stand such a din.

I was in a good mood, so I was ridiculing the person blasting the noise through his handphone, and his mother who didn't have the civility of reining in his son. The guy was some fat fool, maybe he was hoping the loud decibels would dissolve some of his fats, but I don't think it works that way. Then Goon's sharp ears picked out that there was another source of disturbance. From the backseat of the bus, we realised, when we moved further back into the bus. (The first fucko and his mum were seated right behind the exit) like 5 seats in front of the second fucko.

Our ears were constantly assailed by the base percussion emitting from the bowels of the 2 fuckos' handphone, and as we moved towards the back of the bus it got worst. The second fucko was playing something right from the bowels of hell I would think, some kinda rap with no music or rhyme to it. Basically, I think he was reflecting his true nature. Dregs of excretion. And that's putting it kindly. I diverted my attention to him now, as the assault on my ears was getting unbearable. I suggested aloud that he probably didn't have money for earphones, which I would assume to be not too far from the truth.

I wondered aloud to Goon why nobody had the moral courage to ask him to shut his bowels, and asked Goon whether he did. Goon said yes, but he wasn't peeved enough yet.

Then the person sitting beside fucko 2 couldn't stand the din, and she got out of the seat and told us she couldn't stand the unholy percussion, to which I laughed and asked her why not tell the source of it. Which she obviously didn't dare to. Goon took the seat, and I watched, tickled by this unexpected event. The lady who couldn't take the shit had earphones on herself, but such was the intensity of the bowel movement from fucko 2 that earphones didn't help. Then we realised the 2 fuckos knew each other, as the mother of fucko 1 turned around and spoke to fucko 2. Surprise, surprise! Not really but still mildly satisfying to know that crap forms bonds with itself.

I took out my phone to lend Goon for the music to block out most of the criminal cacophony, and while reaching for the bag which was on the fall, the bus jerked suddenly.

Yet another great display of driving skills by the Formula One bus drivers, and I just fell into the crowd behind me. And the young lady behind I fell on gave me an annoyed look. Bitch. It was her lucky day I fell on her, and she had the audacity to gave me any annoyed look. But I was magnanimous, and let it slide. Goon plugged in his earphones, but it didn't work as well as well as he thought and he decided to ask the guy to stop his hell-raising machination. He asked politely enough, and the guy just ignored him. Goon was the man. Courageous! And I got peeved at the piece of crap's attitude. Like you're a piece of crap and you're irritating the people around you, and people ask you nicely you don't respond. This is the kind of people to crush and their spines would be put to better use as target practice.

I didn't have the guts to tell him off, but I really wished I did. After he ignored Goon the Courageous, I laughed cause I knew that would piss him off. I've found that laughing is a very good way for pissing people off, and I like laughing. Laughter is the best medicine, but unfortunately the fucko bacteria just wouldn't die. I was using motherfucker to dub him when discussing him and his antics, and I spoke loudly enough for him to understand that I was calling him that. I was trying to shame him enough so he would turn off his trash, but I guess he just had oxhide epidermis.

So fucko 2 just suddenly got out of his seat before Stevens Road, and we thought he was getting off. To hell, I hoped. I wanted to take the seat, but I remembered falling on the lady and felt sorry, and I let that bitch take the seat. So we got the PIE and fucko 2 didn't get off and slinked in front to fucko 1, and me and Goon the Courageous were wondering why did he leave his seat, and thought our jibes worked, but it appeared there was another reason, which we found out later.

So on the highway home, Goon the Courageous was gesticulating to the bitch I gave my seat to. Apparently the old man beside her was sleeping, and his head kept touching her shoulder and his hands strayed. I found out when the lady got out of the seat immediately after the highway, and even on the highway I could see she was annoyed already with her constipated look. So anyway as I sat down after the highway journey I realised the 2 fuckos were still on board. And I took out my phone and took his picture. Tried anyway, got 2 decent shots of his face. I'll post it soon, just so everyone can have a good laugh. After I sat down the old man made a "nck" sound of displeasure, I presume so anyway. I gave him a stare after I sat down, and he didn't try to pull any stunts with me.

I would think he noticed, as fucko 1 kept turning around to look at me, and I presumed the he would have told fucko 2. But I didn't give a damn. Before I got off, I stayed at the exit and turned around to take fucko 2's picture, and it was pretty obvious. I heard a "cb kia" from him, and I don't think he was describing himself, though it would be a most apt term. And to my horror fucko 1 and his mother got off at the same stop as me. Fortunately, they crossed the road. At least I'm separated from the retardos by a 4 lane road.

I sincerely hope if they try to venture over they can knocked down. Maybe then some sense will be knocked into them. Oh, and the cuntish cacophony was still playing as I left the bus.




Thursday, June 07, 2007

Holiday plans and latest news

If you are in the mood to spot questions along with the rest of PCB, don't hesitate to fix a study date. We will always welcome you as long as you have the adventurous spirit of picking out topics to study or certain aspects of topics to study, since everyone knows what topics are coming out DUHH.

Anyway also in the pipeline is a trip to Sentosa. Check this space or contact the Sentosa coordinator CHEW who will plan a fantastic trip for all PCB members to the sunny island set in the sea where we'll have seasons in the sun! However, be warned that the trip is not for the faint-hearted because set at the southernmost tip of Asia, the tropical island happens to be bloody near the Equator and sunblock is highly recommended if the weather does not screw up.

Another notable event which PCB has been engaging in is the basketball throwabouts in school. After a tiring day of studying (or a slack day of sleeping, whichever applies), one needs some recreation to either calm one's nerves (because studying is unnerving) and to sweat it out since sleeping too much makes you a pig. We don't run a farm here, and note that seals aren't farm animals.

In the latest Sports news, the PCB team comprising of Paul, MQ and YJ has notched two consecutive victories despite playing against formidable opponents Adnaan, Narpal, Kah Wei and later Bambang. The tenacity illustrated by the PCB trio was typical of the never-say-die spirit of the syndicate, like how we study for these Common Tests even though it's highly likely to be yet another suicide mission.

The first match was easily won 7-2 even though it was a three on three match. Paul's forays into the centre and MQ's outside shots proved highly valuable in this win. YJ was just hanging around trying to bug the other players into losing the ball, with a success rate decent enough to supply a few passes.

The second match where PCB were playing together was far more exciting, with the four-member opposition upping their standard of play to avenge the earlier loss. YJ sneaked a sly, admittedly tyco first shot and Paul followed up shortly with a breathtaking shot that saw PCB race to a short-lived 2-0 lead.

However, The Rest did not allow themselves to rest on their laurels because being behind, they obviously couldn't do that. With excellent one-twos by Narpal and Kah Wei and the occasional touch of Adnaan, they clawed back into the game 4-2. Amid all the confusion, PCB somehow managed to pump one in but it was not long before The Rest took a 5-3 lead due to some careless defending and YJ's profligacy in front of the basket.

The score stayed that way for quite a bit as both sides were frayed with tension and were turning violent as every second trickled by. The Rest had some golden opportunities, though they were needlessly squandered away due to fatigue and stamina. They tried to emulate positive traits from the Kouzes-Posner by Encouraging The Heart, but as the Leadership Model is arguably glorified bullshit, it did fuck all to help the situation.

An interception outside the box, poor marking by The Rest and sleek moves by PCB soon saw the lead being cut down to one. Paul was back up with a bit of magic and his shots against the board (and into the basket) were simply sublime. The Rest and the rest of his team could only spectate in awe.

MQ was highly instrumental in the comeback of PCB as well because with only three members, obviously all of them had to be on form for the team to make a credible comeback. A superb shot from the byline from point guard MQ saw the scores being levelled, and towards the end, spurts of energy from the PCB team saw them pull ahead 6-5.

The final nail into The Rest's coffin was MQ's final shot. After starting the ball, a quick pass to a team member saw a quick return to MQ, who drove in just behind the penalty line to release a quality shot. As the ball hit both sides of the rim and lolled around the edge, every player's heart was in their mouth but it was to be PCB's day as the ball finally settled in the basket and fell onto the court with final fatality.

Indeed, it has been an exciting day for PCB's sportsmen. Would you like to be part of the glory? You can register with any of us on MSN. We welcome you with open arms. Challengers are also accepted, even if you are from the CCA itself it's okay because we constantly seek to improve!

Hit 'em hard.

Friday, April 27, 2007

The World Needs Help

The world is in dire need of help. Today I witnessed the cold harsh truth for myself, when I went down to support the table-tennis finals.

After realising there was no PE, I went to the canteen, and there Boon called out to me. What did he have in store for me?

Well he just asked me to go support/watch the table-tennis finals with him. I couldn't make up my mind, and dilly-dallied for quite a while. Which was not a very smart idea. Because the sky was looking ominous, and by the time I had made up my mind to acquiesce, it was raining cats and dogs. To help me in my decision-making process, I relied on the trusty old coin. And once the coin has spoken, there will be NO OTHER OPTIONS. Which was kinda unfortunate because the coin told me to go.

So we had to get a cab, and since it was raining so heavily, the only sensible choice was the 410 bus stop near the canteen. It was raining so heavily we actually got wet from walking there from the canteen, considering the minute distance. When we reached the bus stop, we realised there we weren't the only ones waiting for a cab. There were at least 2-3 other groups of people waiting for one. And one of them was Marcus Neo Jik Wang with his archery associates.

Hopeless as the wait for the elusive taxi was, we stayed on at the bus stop because we didn't want to walk back to the school and get wet. So we stayed. Stayed and got wet. At least below the knees. Boon Shing's classmate and her friends managed to get a cab, and I told him to get on it since they were going to the same place, but Boon was kind enough to stay around with me. But at least there was an amusing moment. Marcus and his archery associates called a cab, and they got on it. But I pulled Marcus back, since he was bragging that the next cab that came along would be his. I pulled him back, and his archery pals closed the door on him. He got flustered, and I got tickled. It was pretty funny cause he was shouting "Oei!" at them when they closed the door.

Ok so after a while Boon and I decided to retreat back to the school to regroup and rethink our plans. Back at the school, the clock was ticking. We were expecting the table tennis team to win at any moment, so we were thinking twice about going. But follow the coin we did, and we called a cab.

The cab went to RI first, then the driver called me to ask whether I was there. I told him he made a wrong turn and after a while he came to the right place. When we got on the cab, he remarked :"Fucking guard tell me left is RJ" I was wondering whether I heard wrong, but I don't think so. Vulgar but NICEEEE.

So we got there and braved the rain again. We got to where Goon was sitting and joined them. It was pretty exciting at first. Then it got pretty boring. All the while, the noise level was too high. To our right, there were supporters from NYJC. Some of the female councillors keep screaming whether their guy won a point. And they were banging plastic bottles.

Basically they were making noise. Unnecessary noise. And obviously they were irritating me. I mean, how base is that? Totally barbaric. Not that I have anything against barbarians, but they were annoying. Banging plastik bottles, screaming. I was really wishing they would drop dead. Or that their lungs would burst. Whatever. Anything to stop the noise.

And in the end, all their noise was for naught. They got pwnt, and they balik kampung. Which was expected. This begs the questions "WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE SO MUCH NOISE FOR IF IN THE END THEY KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO LOSE?" I mean, if you go make noise in the kampung, I don't give a fuck, cause it's a kampung. But hello you're in a stadium, people come here to watch the game not to hear you trying out your fucking vocals. This ain't a fucking Linkin Park concert, so shove it you bloody slatterns and trollops. I don't think the players would in the least bit be heartened and play any better just cause they heard some previously-unheard-before frequency in your bitchass irritating screams.

There were councillors from our school behind as well, and they were cheering very loudly as well. That was very irksome too, but at least not as bad as the screams. Still, it would have been much better without them. I don't know why they are so bloody enthusiastic, cheering throughout the game. I think it's excessive, and doesn't add to the game at all. It's as though they get paid by the school on a per cheer basis. I think these people need help. They really need to go see a shrink or something. Shouting louder than the other school won't make your players play any better. It's just distracting and dumb.

Oh and there was this councillor, j1 I think. She looked like ugly betty. And she was definitely not a pretty sight. With every cheer, you could really see her cheering her guts or lungs or whatever out. It was as though she was on drugs, and her mouth would open so bloody wide to shout that it was pretty unbelievable. And it was disgusting. SICK sums it up. Dunno how she managed to open her mouth so wide, must have had practised from a young age. With what I don't know, but my guess is that it's something to do with hotdogs. And before you ask why I kept looking at such a sore sight, it was because I was kind of morbidly curious.

For the final game we moved to another side of the stadium. And there we witnessed a more idiotic sight. Whenever the players scored a point the person would jump in the air and wave his hands. Hello wtf are you crack or something? That guy seriously needs help. I think the amount of exertion he went through probably was greater than that of the players. He was sweating after the game. Like ok, so we win. So what do you get from shouting your lungs and waving your hands in the air? A half day off? NO. NOTHING. ZERO. ZILCH. So stop distracting people with your fucking antics and behave, bloody bitch, before I get the asylum workers to catch you.

In conclusion. Many people need help. I was thinking, I should go get name cards from psychiatrists. Then when I see such people again, I'll give them the cards.


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Recommended Readings

  • The Humblers
    - June 12, 2007
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